ISO 5 mentors, pronto.
Let’s get right down to business : How to find the five mentors (a follow-up to our very actively tweeted post on five mentors). Over the years, in working with many hundreds – possibly gazillions – of women from 18 on up, I’ve learned the following when it comes to finding mentors: Many people get stressed about it. Unusually stressed, in fact.
So, here is the NUMBER ONE tip right out of the gate! How great is this?
When approaching a mentor, say you’re doing it as part of a class or a structured program. It’s a big ice breaker. (But don’t lie. You’ll lose your credibility, unless you’ve already lost it. Hopefully, at least, it was in a fun way. If your credibility is in tact, make a commitment to find your five mentors and structure the process. Suggestions below.)
EXAMPLES of Ice Breakers:
Students at GW: “I’m in Professor Frey’s Women’s Entrepreneurial Leadership Class and as part of my project, need to find and interview a mentor.”
You (assuming you are not one of my students): “I’m working through a structured mentoring program (of my own creation, that I read about on this blog).” Yada yada.
If the idea still stresses you out, get over it ASAP because the last post shows us it can make or break your career.
How to Find Your Five
It’s all laid out here. Well, in overview form…Here is the assignment sent to my Sis U workshop attendees in October (all about women, power, connections, proof). You can do it too (I say “do” with hesitance, because I sometimes believe many folks would rather consume information than act…but, I would love to be proved wrong):
1. Think about five areas in which you’d like to learn more and or feel supported. These are areas that you believe are critical to your success. Sample topics could include “social media, board management, financing….all the way through work life balance, kids and parenting.)
2. In each of the five areas, identify one-to-two people you know(even as acquaintances) that could be helpful.
3. Approach them.
Don’t:
- Over-complicate and try to get it perfect, 5 areas, 5 to 10 people on a list, that’s it
- List people you DON’T know
- Develop a sudden social anxiety disorder where you start eliminating people from your list, because you “don’ t want to bother them” or “haven’t talked with them in a long time.” Be brave.
******
REVIEW:
- Five is the magic number of mentors for women. (1)
- People who seek out mentors go higher in their careers, and are paid more. (2)
ACTION PLAN:
1. Find mentors
2. Find five of them
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Want more?
- This is part of the “Power Plays for Women” series delivering tested, high-value facts based on research. To learn more, sign up for our monthly newsletter by emailing us here. (Other posts in this series)
- Other ways to get involved: Know a dynamic woman over the age of 18? Nominate her to share her story and lessons, and have a chance to get published in a major Prentice Hall Textbook. Nominate a dynamic woman HERE. Browse winning cases HERE.
ABOUT: The award-winning Hot Mommas Project is housed at the George Washington University School of Business, CFEE. On January 31 of 2010, the project became the world’s largest women’s case study library providing free, online, global access to stories of female role models and mentors. The result? Measurable increases in self-confidence and success among women age 18 and older. Get on our mailing list by emailing us (periodic updates, no digital harassment). We teach women all around the world both in and out of GW.
If this post made you think, or helped you, please do us a favor and leave a quick comment
(1) Frey, Katherine K. Five is the Magic Number for Women. Original Hot Mommas Project research in partnership with the George Washington University School of Business, Center for Entrepreneurial Excellence.
(2) Blickle, Witzkia and Schneidera. Self-initiated mentoring and career success
P.s. In this post I think I’ve just written part of Chapter 3 of my book. Please post thoughts here, maybe I ‘ll include them!
OneNationUnderMom.com
December 18, 2010
Telling potential mentors you are looking for advice or feedback is a great icebreaker as well! Thank you for this insightful article!
-Alok
Anny
December 19, 2010
nice work keep it up.
hotmommas
December 19, 2010
Hey! That’s brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that?
I am glad that you are comfortable going right up to someone and saying, “I’d like your feedback / advice.” You’re THERE. Many people have a tough time doing that and need to be “forced” through the process by being part of a class or structure. It gets to a lot of interesting issues as to why this is so….self esteem (If I ask, will they reject me) time (I am way too busy for this) and, frankly, just caring (who cares if I have mentors)? Go go Alok!
OneNationUnderMom.com
December 20, 2010
Yes, over the years, when I have met someone at a dinner, a party, an event, a government meeting, a conference, etc, if I feel that potentially I could learn a lot from them, I tend to ask them if I can be in touch for some advice. Asking for advice is a very disarming way to develop a desire in the potential mentor to want to work with you. It tells them that you aren’t going to directly ask them for funding, etc, but instead gives them a pressure-free opportunity to see if you two have good chemistry. If the mentor has already seen something in you and are curious, they will gladly give you their card or other contact information, and say “Call me”. Better yet, ask to take them out to lunch or coffee to get some advice on some things you are working on. “I would love your feedback and guidance” is other language that is very effective in getting a mentor interested. It is even better if you can reference the mentor’s work and say that such-and-such work by the mentor would be something you would like to learn more about. I think you are ABSOLUTELY right that getting mentors is crucial! You are also right that fear gets in the way of people asking for what they need! As my partner Jade Beall says, it is all about putting out there what you need and if in this case it is a mentor, then clearly ask for it and don’t be afraid when the opportunity arises! Thank you for your reply!
kathy korman frey
December 23, 2010
Thanks for Twitter shout outs!
From: @lovisatalk
Sent: Dec 23, 2010 9:01a
RT @ChiefHotMomma: How to Find 5 Mentors (yes, women, you need 5) http://ad.vu/8iby
sent via TweetDeck
On Twitter: http://twitter.com/lovisatalk/status/17942870409351168
From: @minutrition
Sent: Dec 23, 2010 10:20a
RT @ChiefHotMomma: How to Find 5 Mentors (yes, women, you need 5) http://ad.vu/8iby
sent via TweetDeck
On Twitter: http://twitter.com/minutrition/status/17962742451273728
kathy korman frey
December 26, 2010
Good question from Twitter
From: @FeministInti
Sent: Dec 26, 2010 9:19a
@ChiefHotMomma is it necessary the mentors be women too, or is it just the mentoree who is a woman? Love, Confused
sent via Twitter for BlackBerry® in reply to @ChiefHotMomma
On Twitter: http://twitter.com/FeministInti/status/19034663452413952
kathy korman frey
December 26, 2010
Response to above re gender and mentors
From: @ChiefHotMomma
Sent: Dec 26, 2010 10:36a
@FeministInti The mentors can be any gender unless the topic is personal, in which case same sex mentor suggested.
sent via ÜberTwitter in reply to @FeministInti
On Twitter: http://twitter.com/ChiefHotMomma/status/19054043431178240
kathy korman frey
December 28, 2010
More Twitter shout outs – thx!
From: @LauraOBiering
Sent: Dec 27, 2010 9:07p
Thanks for writing this down so plainly. RT @chiefhotmomma: How to Find 5 Mentors (yes, women, you need 5) http://ad.vu/8iby
sent via HootSuite
On Twitter: http://twitter.com/LauraOBiering/status/19575035677118464
hotmommas
January 13, 2011
Thanks Wharton Women for the interest in this piece
@wharton_women
RT @PennCareerServ: Career Success for Women: How to Find 5 Mentors http://ow.ly/3Da4R Via @ChiefHotMomma @bethebutterfly @kaymini